情定愛琴海

Next Monday

I am going to start my career

At Cathay United Bank as salesperson

        Why is the autobiography more difficult to write than papers I did for my MBA program in WT? Comparing papers to autobiography will apparently indicate the degree of difficulty. Although the papers for MBA programs are the difficulty in writing, it is still easier than autobiography because we sometimes can just "bullshit" on papers from our references. Unlike this, autobiography has to be offered the truth. How come the truth is such difficult to write down? Probably many people will say that I just write down something that happened. Yet, it is not to exactly do the way like this. Truth which cannot always be told is what exactly happened before present tense; however, bullshit is what can exactly be developed by our own thoughts. Say easily but hard to do will be the best description to express this condition.

        Yesterday, I just came back to Taiwan from the United States in the morning. After getting home, I looked for 1111 and 104 websites, I found there are few jobs I can do. I tend to start with a salesperson for my career because of this reason. By being a salesperson, I may learn more things than I have had from here. Enhancing interpersonal relationship is my top priority I am in need when this situation challenges me. Many people intend to have "close to home, incredible wages, and less assignments". However, it is not my first requirement. As long as being far from home even though I could still live at home, it is good to me. As regard wage, I do not need too much. Sufficiency on all expense is more important to stand at first position on my list. The other is with regard to assignment. I also do not care more about how many assignments I have as long as I have much free time to take a rest without sacrificing working time. Whatever, from past to present, I always hope that everything can go smoothly. It means I can find jobs and have stable jobs with no much obstacle.

        Finally, I am done with my strategic final exam. But I still worry about it. I am not sure how much score I can get. I hope I can graduate in time. Postponing may force me crazy. How come I always forget the answer on each test? I study at least twice. I tried to find key point at first time on studying, and then studied for second and third times. Yet I forgot. Right now, I just hope professor can give me C. For each question on exams, I have impression on each of them, but I just forgot the answer. I am supposed to forget past, but I cannot. Sigh...

        One month later, I may start my career. Is situation that graduation is unemployment going to happen to me? I have no idea about. Graduation is another milestone in life. Everyone has to face it. It is worth being happy, but cannot be too happy. Stress and pressure will follow. According to study, more than 90% graduates most worry about their future because they do not have enough English skill and expertise to handle the job in each field. Unemployment can be caused from different factors. This is one of major reason that causes people as an unemployment. Although many people many say that everything is to learn from scratch when graduates graduate from college and start working in an organization, it is still difficult. Relearning is not a problem from scratch, but there are still potential problems.

Next week is spring break

That is

It is time to study

        Midterm has already finished. What does it mean? I think it means I have to come to library to study. In order to handle my rest of exams, this is the only way to do for exams. At home, I cannot study. Too much things to lure me to be unable to pay attention to my study. I hope I can graduate smoothly. After that, I, on the other hand, have to worry about my career. At present day, the rate of unemployment still stand at high percentage in Taiwan. Graduation is unemployment. Of course, this moment is not the right time to think about this. If something goes wrong, everything will be nothing.

        I have been taking BUSI class which counts 1 credit hour this semester. The professor of this course always wants us to ask him/her question if we have any problem. However, each time I emailed him/her my questions, he or she either shows his/her impatience on my problems or ignores my email on purpose. The result is that I still confuse about comments. That is, my assignment has stopped moving forward few weeks ago. On the other hand, the deadline of the proposal of this assignment is next Wednesday. Until today, I do not receive the response from my professor. I do not understand at all of what my professor thinks. He or she wants us to ask, but there is no any response from him/her. I emailed him/her many times. I have questioned by email because this course is online class. So...what should I do next step? Other classmates have the same situation as me. Both of us do not start doing our assignment. Each time when I was seeing the due date when is getting closer, I am nervous. That is why I said this semester is more difficult to pass all courses than last semester. Of course, I have to acknowledge that last two terms are the most difficut in my life of graduate school.

        I do not understand if my English is not good or not. Otherwise, why do I not understand what my professor said and what he wants us to do? I can understand each word, but I cannot understand the meaning. It only counts one credit, but it is difficult. Is it tricky? I have no idea. I just know I cannot understand. However, each time I email him and ask him about the portfolio, the feeling he gave me is impantient. That is, he might always think why I do not read the syllebus and his comments first. I actually did it. I still not understand what exactly he wants us to do. I confuse always. Right now, I still stay at initial position. In other words, I do not move forward on my portfolio. Of course, I have to acknowledge my English skill has been falling since attended graduate school. I always thought my English skill in level 2 is the best period and then stay at the same level in level 3. After that, no comment. So, what could I do? What should I do? I asked, but do not understand. I emailed, but still confuse. My thought cannot follow professor's idea.

Tomorrow

And Friday

We may snow

Tonight

I will fly to Taiwan

Waiting for a year

Today

Just like this

Leave

        Although I like vacation whatever it is, it is not right time to be taken place now because.... I hope Thanksgiving should not come fast just like this. It destory my wish and expectation. Actually, I should not pay more attention to my wish and expectation because it makes me different, crazy and sad. Always, my wish and expectation hurt me. I seem not to get rid of them. It just live near myself. Probably I also should not put myself in this situation because I have already known the result how it will happen. I still have been doing it on purpose. So, my retribution? Probably the answer is... "Yes".

Over past two days

I lived in the HELC

Originally

        Yesterday, I slept at HELC. It means I lived in computer lab. When I am tired, I slept; when I am not, I did my presentation paper. Suddenly, I realized I have no much time to delay doing assignment and studying if I cannot finish more than 70% before next week because I always think we have entire week for Thanksgiving vacation. But I am wrong because Thanksgiving is not spring break. I have no idea about why I always assumed that. Maybe my brain...Anyway, this wrong assumption looks like...terrible. Absolutely, it is an accident.

        Over past few days, I have made 2 appointment with either my family or my friends, whom are current friends of West Texas A&M University and friends of Ling Tung University. Additionally, I am still working on making another appointment with my past friends of West Texas A&M University. I hope the last appointment could be come true because I do not only meet them for a long time but also it is boring to stay at home. Of course, there is another appointment that is always necessary and is executed when I go back to Taiwan, appointment made with my either college roommate or pretty close friends. Probably I may additional appointment with another group which consists of past friends of West Texas A&M University. Why do I seperate these appointment? Because all of these friends are in different counties even cities. At least right now, I have three appointment are for sure, first two appointment I mentioned and with my college roommate (also called pretty close friends). I believe that this winter vacation will drive me busy.

I am a fool

Why

Because I am always used to do something

        Yesterday, I went bowling with my friends at night. My five score of each game are 141, 98, 123, 143, 145, respectively, and the average of five games is 130. The most pity is at game 4. Except last three, I only miss twice and two times before and after miss with two continuity strikes. Or I strongly believe that I may at least reach 150 or 160 even 170. Just need one more strike and then I may have turkey. However, I do not understand why bowling alley loves turning off the light. I cannot aim. My score cannot exceed 150 only because it is dark indoor. Although 170 is difficult to meet, I still have huge confidence to reach it if bowling alley does not turn the light off. I recall my last bowling games is at university if I except I went bowling in the United States. If plus the only one time in the United States without counting yesterday, it has been at least four months ago.

        When I recived email from my advisor, I disappointed. It destroys my initial wish. At that moment, I confuse. Confusing which course I would like to take next semester. I suddenly feel that it is difficult to make a decision when two opportunities impact each other even my mind. At the same moment, I deeply realize that many things cannot be held at the same time. If I pick one that I can graduate in time, I may lose a chance; if I pick the other one, the subject is not one that I exactly would like to take even though the level of difficulty between both are almost the same. That is, the purpose is different between both of two courses. Of course, I also feel happy because advisor made a decision for me. But, I am not really happy, just a little bit.

Recently

Each time I went to McDonald

And