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I do not come here to write my journal for a long time. Actually, I was always busy on my assignments and tests until I finished my final exam today. Suddenly, I am having a special feeling. What's that? I try to find the answer. It always hides behind me that I cannot see it clearly. Releasing from ESLI is a better things I glad to have. I do not want to get it anymore; however, in my master life, I can image what is going to happen. I think that the life in WT will be the same as in ESLI. In fact, it may be more difficult. Of course, it is not all reason that I feel...(I don't know how to describe). Something else still block me and get in my way. Sometimes I try to escape from that, but I have already known the result that does not succeed. Why? Since I know the result, why do I still do it over and over? I don't know about that. Some things I do not want to think about, but it seems to be out of control. It is not my brain at this difficult time. I hope I can be released and take a break even work out for a while; however, the truth is always opposite of my wishes. So far, I just want to hide on safe side, learn to forget everything and solve it. I always console someone else who will get everything if they hang on in difficulty. Yet I rarely do it well, even become worse and worse. Why do I only encourage somebody else, and cannot do it for me? At the same time, I want to go back to Taiwan, I don't want to stay here, I don't want to keep this feeling. Everything seems to be strange. Wow~I surprise myself. I tired of staying here, but I seem to afraid to leave because I don't know how to face some people, and it just waste many things if I give up everything.
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